


Bad Bitches Like Me

by pasdexcuses



Category: Bunheads
Genre: First Meetings, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-10
Updated: 2015-10-10
Packaged: 2018-04-25 16:17:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,706
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4967734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pasdexcuses/pseuds/pasdexcuses
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sasha's cat likes to steal underwear. Or: how Sasha and Boo became friends.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bad Bitches Like Me

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Deifire](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Deifire/gifts).



> **Disclaimer:** The characters featured in this story are fictional and do not belong to me. No profit is being made, and no copyright infringement is intended. Title from Nicki Minaj's "Starships".

The day Sasha decides Boo is someone worthy of her precious time, she’s thirteen, and her parents have bought her a new black cat. Probably out of guilt, most definitely because the last time her mom decided to “redecorate”, a piece of fine china went wide and collided with Sasha’s art project for school. The cat came into her life three months ago, name tag included.

She had no intention of keeping, much less caring for, the cat (which she called Cat from the start because Buttercup is a terrible name, no matter how you look at it). Except she was sitting at the kitchen table one morning, sipping contraband coffee she’d made with her dad’s expensive Nespresso machine when her parents were too busy fighting, and there she saw Cat.

Cat, who was sauntering — there really was no there word for the way Cat strode with her head held high — down the street, holding something conspicuously bright yellow. Cat had eventually wandered back inside the house to be fed, her prize still between her teeth. Sasha spent a solid five minutes laughing at the yellow bra that Cat had stolen, which, upon further inspection, was made of the sort of flowery lace that grownups find sexy and children find either disgusting or funny. Sasha was too young and too old to consider the yellow monstrosity as anything other than the ultimate proof that Cat deserved to stay. 

Since then, Sasha has watched Cat steal any number of lingerie items and plain underpants, from dirty tighty whities (over which Sasha screamed as she tried to yank them out of Cat’s mouth with just the tips of her fingers) to more lacy monstrosities. One day, Sasha likes to fantasise, she’s going to find who in Paradise owns fluorescent underwear, and she’s going to laugh her ass off over it.

Cat offers very a fine and refreshing sort of diversion for a thirteen-year-old girl who has known all the forms of entertainment known to mankind since she was a baby and her parents had no idea what to do with her. Sasha has even found it in her heart to buy Cat special cat food. She even cuddles Cat when she gets on Sasha’s bed uninvited and makes sure to change her litter box before it starts smelling. 

Sasha’s had Cat for three months on the morning Cat possibly-maybe changes Sasha’s life. 

Sasha is sitting at the kitchen table, sipping her contraband coffee when she spots Cat out the window, a very pink piece of something in her mouth. Sasha can neither confirm nor deny that the very pink something is a pair of girl panties, but months with Cat allow her to make an educated guess. By now, this sight is nothing new. What is new is the girl running behind Cat, trying, and hilariously failing, to catch her. 

Sasha is soon putting down her mug to walk to living room window so she can follow them. When they move out of sight, she goes to her dad’s office to see more of the girl desperately chasing Cat. Sasha has to run upstairs and into her parents’ bedroom to watch them when they go behind the house. Eventually, though, Cat makes a sharp turn and they disappear behind some trees. 

Sasha makes herself some breakfast, still laughing every time she remembers the girl, which happens about once every thirty seconds. She’s shaking her head at the image, _who even does that_ , when Cat saunters through her little door flap. 

She is, indeed, holding a pair of very pink panties. They’re cotton with red hearts, and Sasha cannot see what’s so special about them that that girl had to chase Cat for who knows how long. Taking the underwear from Cat, Sasha goes to throw it away — she doesn’t keep any of it, that’d be weird — when her doorbell rings. 

Sasha doesn’t even know why she’s surprised to see the girl standing on her doorstep, cheeks bright red and really sweaty. Gross. 

As they stand blinking at each other, Sasha finally recognises her as the girl in her Madame Fanny’s ballet class who always stays at the back. 

Crossing her arms over her chest, Sasha says, “You’re the chubby girl from ballet.”

The girl’s face turns from red to a somewhat purplish shade. She inhales deeply, wringing her hands before she manages, “I’m sorry to bother you but your cat stole my, um…”

“Your pink panties with red hearts?” Sasha supplies, leaning against the doorframe and smirking. 

The girl turns even more purple, which Sasha almost finds adorable. 

“Yes,” the girl says to the floor. “Do you, um, think I could have them back?”

Sasha pretends to consider this. Why would anyone even want cat-saliva-drenched underwear? 

“Cat steals underwear,” Sasha says conversationally, for absolutely no reason. “You’re the first one to come ask for it, though. I always figured no one came knocking because normal people don’t want underwear that’s been in a cat’s mouth.” 

“My grandma gave me those.”

Sasha snorts. “Your _grandma_ buys you underwear?”

The girl shrugs. “I never understood why. But she always got me the cute ones Mom won’t get for me.” The girl stares with even more intent at the floor. “She died last year.”

All Sasha can say is, “Oh.”

“It’s okay,” the girl replies, face suddenly lighting up as she finally manages to get her eyes off the floor. “You’re the best in our class, by the way.”

“I know,” Sasha says, and she doesn’t remember ever feeling so awkward after being complimented. It’s not like she doesn’t already know she is way better than anyone in Madame Fanny’s class. She’s pretty sure it’s this awkwardness what prompts her to blurt out, “I’m sorry I called you chubby.”

“That’s okay,” the girl says, and Sasha cannot fathom a world in which that is okay, but whatever. “My name’s Boo.”

Boo holds out her hand for Sasha to shake. It takes Sasha longer than she cares to admit to figure out that the polite thing to do now is introduce herself. 

“What kind of name is Boo?” Sasha says instead. 

“Well, it’s actually Bettina, but everyone just calls me Boo,” Boo explains in a very matter-of-fact tone. 

“O-okay,” Sasha says. Then, “I’m Sasha.”

“I know. Madame Fanny always tells us to ‘watch Sasha’.”

“Oh.”

“So, about my, uh…” Boo ventures.

“Sure,” Sasha says, letting Boo inside. “Do you want a drink?” Sasha offers as she leads the way to the kitchen. 

“Oh, yes, thank you!”

No need to be so excited over a glass of water, Sasha thinks, but she holds her tongue. She pours Boo a glass, giving it to her while she goes fetch Boo’s stolen underwear. Cat trails behind Sasha on her way back to the kitchen. 

Cat jumps on the counter, staring intently at Boo. 

“Buttercup,” Boo reads under her breath.

“Her name is Cat,” Sasha corrects her. 

“But her collar says—”

Sasha shakes her head. She always meant to take the stupid thing off, but her mother said they wouldn’t find Cat if it got lost and had no collar. 

“Buttercup is a silly name,” Sasha says. 

“And Cat is any better?”

Sasha glares at Boo. She’s about to ask Boo to take her granny pants and leave when Boo says, “You should give it—”

“Her,” Sasha corrects again.

“Her,” Boo says, smiling down at Cat. “Give her a nice name.”

“Like what?”

“Hmm, I don’t know. We’ll have to think hard about it,” Boo says.

Sasha doesn’t miss the “we”. A part of her wants to tell Boo there is no “we” in this situation. The other part… Well, the other part is too taken aback by Boo, has been from the moment Sasha saw her chasing Cat. In the end, Sasha figures, if nothing else, Boo will provide some fine and refreshing sort of diversion. 

“Sure, whatever,” Sasha says. “I have to get ready for school, now.”

“Oh, I forgot!” Boo says, collecting her underwear. “See you at Madame Fanny’s!” 

Later, at school, Boo waves at Sasha in between classes. Sasha doesn’t wave, but she does say ‘hi’ before moving on. 

*

Sasha’s conversations with Boo don’t go past ‘hi’ and ‘bye’ for almost a week. And then, one day at lunch, Boo slides her tray next to Sasha’s as she takes a seat and announces, “I’ve got it.”

“You got what?” Sasha asks. 

“The perfect name for Cat!”

“Well?” Sasha prods because Boo looks like she’s so excited she’s forgotten to actually vocalise the ‘perfect name’.

“Nicki Minaj,” Boo replies, looking very triumphant for someone who’s just come up with such a terrible name. 

“ _What_?”

“Well, because your cat is so daring, and Nicki Minaj is such a,” Boo drops her voice so only Sasha can hear her say the next part, “a badass bitch.”

Boo goes pink in her cheeks at the words, and Sasha can’t help laughing very loudly because. Well, because Boo using the words ‘badass bitch’ is about the funniest thing she’s ever heard.

“Who told you that?” Sasha asks between breaths, still laughing a little. 

“About your cat?” Boo asks.

“Boo,” Sasha says, hoping her tone conveys how much she disapproves of Boo’s lack of common sense. 

“Oh, you meant Nicki,” Boo says. “I overhead some high school seniors yesterday.”

Sasha stares at her for a moment before she acquiesces, “Fine.”

“Really?” 

Boo is way too excited about this, Sasha thinks. But it’s sort of contagious, and Sasha doesn’t mind. She kind of likes Boo now.

“Yes,” Sasha replies, “Nicki Minaj it is.” She takes a moment to think things over before she tells Boo, “My parents had another fight two days ago, and my science homework was caught in the crossfire. It shouldn’t be too hard to make them get Nicki Minaj a new collar.”

Boo frowns. “Your parents fight a lot?” And somehow, she doesn’t look or sound curious, like most people do, she just looks… concerned. 

She likes Boo, Sasha decides. 

“It doesn’t matter,” she says with wave of her hand, and switches the conversation to how displeased Madame Fanny is going to be when she learns the schools serves them pizza for lunch on Fridays.

**Author's Note:**

> Dear Deifire,
> 
> I don't think you were expecting this but I recently rewatched the whole first (and tragically only) season of Bunheads and felt like writing something! So, I went through last year's Yuletide prompts and found yours :) I hope you enjoyed this, because I sure had a lot of fun with these characters.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Bad Bitches Like Me (podfic)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/8351983) by [Caveat_Lector](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Caveat_Lector/pseuds/Caveat_Lector)




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